"and I thought you were worth it" — Steven Cheslik-DeMeyer

This odd letter never sent was tucked into my high school diary. I think I’ve written before about Tamara who was my girlfriend for a month or two my freshman year of high school and who broke up with me in a letter, which I have also saved. My first encounter with Tamara was when she beat me in the spelling bee in 8th grade.

I say girlfriend but I don’t think we used that word at 14. We were “going together,” which is also a strange expression for it. I don’t remember doing anything together or going anywhere except maybe football games?

My fixation on money in this letter is the weirdest thing about it. I can’t have had much, and I don’t remember spending money on girls. I didn’t have an allowance as a kid, but I started my first real job, working in the kitchen and as a waiter at the DePauw University student union building, when I was 14, so I guess I had a little spending money. In this letter I seem kind of bitter about it. I remember shopping in town for a Christmas gift for Tamara and buying a small houseplant. I kind of remember not being able to give it to her personally because she was away for the holidays and then the next thing was the Dear John letter.